When your daughter spends money on rainbow hair- what do you do? If the family is conservative, there could be some apprehension. In fact, some parents might think that their daughter could spend the money more productive.y In the case of u/haircoloraita, it was asking their daughter to pay rent. In their post on the popular subreddit, Am I The A**hole? they mentioned that their 19-year-old daughter had been living at home after graduating.
Even though she gained admission to a few colleges- she wanted to take a break. And incidentally, it was fine for the family. Just that, she had a few rules to follow- within reason. One of them being the daughter had to work around 30 hours. The original poster (OP) also wanted her to pay rent, but OP’s wife convinced him not to.
“This past weekend Kate came home one day with bright rainbow hair. My son asked her how much it cost and Kate said it was $300. I asked Kate if she seriously spent $300 on her hair and she said yes. I told her that was a ridiculous amount of money for something like that. She said it makes her feel good and it’s important for her mental health. I told her that if she can afford to spend $300 on her hair, then she can afford to pay us rent. She immediately got defensive and reiterated that it is her money and she will spend it how she wants. She said I don’t understand why this is important to her and that she hates that I am so controlling over what she does.”
u/haircoloraita | Reddit
Rainbow-Hair As Therapy- Acceptable Or Not?
Incidentally, OP’s daughter also suffers from anxiety in the form of a lack of impulse control. This manifested in her extravagant spending habits. And according to OP- she would often be spending on things that she didn’t need. Now, did OP consider her rainbow hair needless? Absolutely.
“I told her that as long as she’s still living with us, I have a right to be critical of the choices she makes. She called me an asshole and stormed off to her room and slammed the door. My wife told me that I need to be more supportive of Kate and her choices, especially in regard to money. I told her that I am not going to continue to let her live here for free if she’s going to spend money so recklessly.”u/haircoloraita | Reddit
Also, one needs to remember- OP has other kids too.
“I told my wife that we need to have a conversation about Kate continuing to live with us because we have other kids to support and Kate is an adult and should be contributing something to the house if she’s going to stay here.”u/haircoloraita | Reddit
Should OP Charge Rent From His Own Daughter?
So, what did Reddit think about OP and their rainbow-haired daughter?
“She lives with you, is an adult, and has money. She uses your electricity and water. Make her pay rent. Unless she physically cannot pay the rent, make her pay at least something. Although I will say, your reasoning seems flawed. You seem to be punishing her for buying something. In my family, once you get a job and can afford rent, you start paying rent. It’s a good learning tool in my case.”