His parents gave him an ultimatum: Leave his girlfriend and newborn baby or get cut off. The teenage dad chose his daughter. He went from struggling with addiction to going sober for his baby, in addition to getting his life together. But his girlfriend left him, leaving him with an infant to care for, no money, and no support. In a now-deleted Reddit post, the desperate young father asked for advice. What could he do before he suffers a mental breakdown? The internet showered him with support and praise for all of his efforts. In response, he posted an update of an optimistic future.
Hiding His Baby From His Parents
The dad begins his post by explaining how he met his ex at age 17. Both addicts at the time, spent a lot of time doing drugs until she got pregnant early in their relationship. They decided to keep the baby, stretch whatever money they had, and figure out the rest when it comes. He didn’t want to tell his parents about his girlfriend or the baby, which is how he missed his daughter’s birth. But the lies had to continue. “I’d attend school during the day and told them I was ‘tutoring; for a few hours afterward when in reality I was sneaking over to my ex’s house to see my kid.
However, his parents soon became suspicious. “Sometimes my ex would leave and ask me to stay and watch our daughter, so I had no choice but to look after her while she went out and did whatever for hours. I could pass it off the first few times as just odd tutoring hours but when it became a regular thing my parents got suspicious. They sat at the school one afternoon and followed me to her house, even calling to ask when I’d be home.”
When they found out about the baby, they were furious with their son. “They kicked me out for the night and I was given an ultimatum the next morning: leave my ex and daughter and move in with my aunt states away or stay with my ex and be cut off.” But he chose to stay with his daughter and ex and his parents cut him off. They hadn’t contacted him in months. [1]
His Ex Abandons Him
In the meantime, the dad moved in with his ex and a roommate and slowly worked to improve his life. “I was able to get a part-time job at a convenience store, stopped using pills, and graduated early last year,” he wrote.
Although he tried to get his life together, his ex did not. They had both agreed to stay clean after the baby was born. But then he discovered she had begun using again.
“I realized I couldn’t trust her when I found the baggies hidden in her drawer and started to understand what she meant when she said she was ‘going out.’ We got into a nasty argument and I ended up taking my daughter to a friend’s house where we camped out for a few days. When I got back to the apartment, my roommate informed me that my ex had left. It’s been months and I still haven’t seen or heard from her.”
Then the 18-year-old dad raised the baby himself while working full-time at a country club. However, he feels like he’s become a burden on his roommate. He doesn’t have a lot of money, savings, and can’t afford college or a car. So he asked Reddit what to do next.
“I don’t know whether I should try and patch things up with my parents or find some way to get in contact with my ex but I feel like if I don’t do something soon I might have a mental breakdown,” he wrote.
Read: Dad who is single adopts six disabled children: “I would never say never to having another child”
“Brighter Days Ahead”
The replies were filled with support and encouragement for the young dad. And many advised him to try to reconnect with his parents.
“Dude, well done. You’ve been put in a really impossible situation and you are absolutely smashing it,” one commenter wrote. “I would probably try and speak with your parents, swallow your pride and ask for help. If your ex has just left like that then I doubt she will be much of a source of support for you. I hope you figure something out, but in the meantime keep going and do your best.”
“Honestly so proud of you for sticking through it and being mature,” said another. “I can’t even imagine how hard it is. Your daughter will thank you one day. No matter the circumstances with your parents they love you no matter what and will probably want to be in their granddaughter’s life. Swallow your pride and reach out to them … you were probably going to reconnect eventually. Stay strong. We all have faith in you, you’re doing the impossible. Brighter days ahead…”
Sometime later, the dad updated, thanking everyone for their comments. “I was at my breaking point when I posted, but the amount of support I’ve gotten from strangers on the internet has made me feel the greatest sense of relief I’ve felt in a while.”
Reconnecting With His Parents
He continued saying he reached out to his parents. “After a bit of convincing,” his father agreed to meet up with him. “I brought my daughter with me and as soon as he saw her, he broke down,” he wrote. “There were a lot of tears, hugs, and apologies from both sides, and even though I can tell he’s still a little apprehensive about everything, I’m just glad to have him back in my life.“
His mother isn’t ready to reconnect, but she does want to meet her grandchild in time. “I was told that writing her a letter might be the best way to initiate a conversation with her, so I’m gonna try it,” he added.
In the meantime, the teen dad is planning to apply for full custody and government assistance. Plus, he’s hoping to go to college. “I can’t even put into words how blessed I feel and how hopeful I am for the future,” he concluded. “You all are truly amazing.” [2]
Because the posts came originally from Reddit, it’s impossible to verify the details of the story. However, we hope the young dad has a beautiful life ahead of him with a daughter who will appreciate all he has done for her.
Keep Reading: Single Dad Opens Up About Not Having the Same Support As Single Moms
Sources
- “Struggling single teen dad asks for help after parents disown him and ex leaves.” Newsner. Michael Panter. June 9, 2020
- “Struggling Single Teen Dad Asks for Help After Ex Leaves & Parents Disown Him.” Cafe Mom. Genny Glassman. June 8, 2020