Being a single dad can be quite a daunting task- especially if you have a teenage daughter. The situation becomes dire because there is no mother in the equation- who can often serve as a buffer. Any single dad reading this would understand that a teenage daughter and her romantic interests can lead to quite a big headache. And this is what has happened to OP (original poster), who then turned to Reddit for help. Putting a post on the popular subreddit, Am I the A**hole? (r/AITA), OP spoke about the troubles and the pitfalls that come with denying their daughter a date.
“My daughter Victoria is 14 and she’s a great kid, makes me a proud dad, but, as the teen years have arrived, we’ve certainly had our fair share of disagreements over grades and clothes mainly. Unfortunately, she’s interested in boys now, and they’re interested in her. God, if you’re listening, send help. Normally, when she says that she has a date, I’m fine. I meet the kid, they go on their way, that’s kind of my rule. I don’t do some goofy, ‘If you don’t have my daughter home at 9.00 on the nose, I’m coming hunting for you’ big scary dad speech. I wanna just meet the kid so I can put a face to a name.”
So far, the situation doesn’t seem too dire. Every single dad would be used to this sentiment by now. While some dads can get a little overbearing, most others are quite relaxed.
Single Parents and Teenage Daughters- A Cesspool Of Problems
“A few days ago, she said a guy named ‘Vince’ asked her out, fine. Well, Friday night came and I get told from Victoria that oh, he’s ‘not good at talking to parents’ and ‘doesn’t like to do it.’ Sarcastically, I said that I loved hearing that and that I was at ease hearing that this guy actively avoids parents. She’s got a PhD in my sarcasm so I received an eye roll. I said he could use tonight as practice for talking to parents. She said that he doesn’t have to do anything he doesn’t want to. I said if he’s not meeting me, she’s not going on the date. I got a foot stomp and a ‘that’s not fair’. I told her I wasn’t being overbearing just wanting to meet this kid. She told me she was going to do what she wanted. I told her to text this guy that the date was off and go to her room. She started crying, sent her text, told me she hated me, went to her room, and slammed the door a few times.”
So, what did r/AITA think about the actions of this single dad?
u/Lumpy-Caterpillar769 was pretty candid in their opinion-
“Grateful that dads like you exist.”
u/Main_Hippo_6627 responded to this, by stating,
“It’s freaking scary she sees nothing wrong with ‘he doesn’t like meeting parents.”
u/ixfd64 tried to mediate by responding,
“This, but it should be NAH in my opinion. I can’t really blame OP’s daughter for being upset either because a date can be a big deal for a teenager.”
u/This_Cauliflower1986 mentioned,
“My son doesn’t go on a date with someone I have not met. The fact that she thinks it’s okay not to introduce him is intriguing. My mind immediately goes to the idea that she’s not really in her grade and/or that he is bad news.”
u/OkieLady1952 was quite surprised at the precedent of a date.
“I guess I’m behind times. I was shocked that she is having solo dates at 14. My granddaughters didn’t solo date until 16. You definitely made the correct decision on canceling the date if he isn’t willing to meet you.”
Reddit Lauded The Actions Of This Single Dad
u/ChatteringMagpie put this dad’s worries at rest.
“You’re a good dad and looking out for her. If he doesn’t have time to do anything he doesn’t want to do, that’s kind of a bad boy flag. So when your daughter calms down have a chat with her about your why again. Also, maybe just go check that she’s still in her room, just to be safe.”
u/AnalApiarist also commented on this development, stating,
“This! Not to totally freak you out, but my stepdaughter snuck out to see someone she was forbidden to see and got raped that night. We saw signs that she didn’t.”
u/DntMindMeImNtRlyHere went on to bring this narrative from the single dad into their own life. They stated:
“My mom was the same when I was a kid. She would let us do pretty much whatever within reason, but she wanted to meet their parents before we could go inside their house to play. We HATED it back then, but now we’re grateful to have had a mom who gave a damn. We might have been latchkey brats who didn’t come home until dark, but she knew where we were.”
We know being a single parent is tough. They have to juggle double the responsibilities with half the number of people involved. However, that does not mean a parent should ever skip out on looking after their children’s safety and security. Of course, dates are important but what’s there to be secretive about if there’s nothing to worry about?
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Sources
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