Money management is one of the toughest things we have to do as adults. To make things worse, banking, loans, and basically everything finance-related are always really complicated. Good advice can be hard to come by, which is why the Pay Dirt advice column by Slate exists. This column is there to give you the third-party, honest, and impartial financial advice you need.
This woman wrote to the column regarding her son’s college fund. Unfortunately, her in-laws were in charge of it and all the money has disappeared. She wrote to Pay Dirt for some advice on how to approach this situation. (1)
My In-Laws Stole My Son’s College Fund
A woman who goes by the moniker Disappointed Momma Bear wrote into the Pay Dirts column asking for finance-related legal advice over her son’s college fund. She explained that her ex (the boy’s father) had died from alcoholism-related problems when her son was still in primary school. People in their community rallied and donated a sizable amount of money toward the young boy’s future college fund.
“After my ex-husband’s death due to alcoholism, many people donated to our son’s future college fund. He was in elementary school at this time,” she wrote. “Over the years, the communication and relationship with my ex’s family has become completely nonexistent. I have been to blame for all of their son’s addictions and mental health issues. (He had all of them prior to our marriage.) On the positive side, our son has grown into a wonderful, healthy, stable young man.”
Disappointed Momma Bear, Pay Dirt | Slate
Unfortunately, her ex’s family controlled the account that contained the fund. When she went to access the fund for her son’s college payments, the money was nowhere to be found.
“I have never been told what happened to the money, but I have heard many stories and rumors about where it really went. I feel sorry for the people who donated with good intentions. An attorney could not get any information from the bank where it was in an account at one time,” she wrote. “I just want some closure with answers on how a person could steal from their grandchild. Should I keep trying to find out what happened to that money? Or should I just close that door forever?”
Disappointed Momma Bear, Pay Dirt | Slate
Pay Dirty’s Avice
Pay Dirty’s first question for her was if she knew what kind of savings account the money was in. The type of account it is can change what the grandparents’ legal rights are with the money in the account. Some give them more flexibility, others don’t.
“In certain situations, it may be unethical but not illegal for your child’s grandparents to have liquidated the account for their own personal gain. A 529 is the common savings account of choice for a child going into higher education, but if they were the account holders, they could have dissolved it and paid the penalty. If they opened a different kind of account, that presents other possibilities.”
He said that hiring an attorney was good, but she should get help from a forensic accountant as well. This person can work together with her attorney to learn better what legal recourse she has if any.
Read: My Parents Didn’t Hand Me Everything And I Am A Better Person For That
Personal College Fund Savings Problems
Disappointed Momma Bear isn’t the only one with college fund woes. Another contributor aptly named Overwhelmed by Future Debt is having college fund problems of their own. They want to pay out of pocket, however, they are realizing how lofty of a goal that is. Their financial fears are then preventing them from applying to programs. They are stuck in the “mostly tolerable” office job they’ve found themselves in that they “stumbled into”.
“I want to get my master’s and become a clinical social worker. I’m confident that I’ll thrive in the profession and find the work deeply meaningful. What I’m less confident about is paying for my degree. For a couple years, I’ve deluded myself with a fantasy of paying for much of my graduate degree upfront—and also felt terror of how huge student loan payments could limit my choices for the next couple decades of my life after graduation,” they wrote. “Where do I start? I get easily overwhelmed by long-term strategic financial planning for my own sake and tend to shut down and disengage because of anxiety about it. I’ve never even had a budget—I’ve just built as inexpensive a life I can bear, and that’s usually been enough to ensure I can cover all my expenses and save money on top. Is there a good rule of thumb for how much debt it’s OK to take on? How do I estimate how much money I’ll actually need? How do I figure out the point at which my future loan payments would be a nuisance versus onerous-but-doable versus life-stunting?”
Pay Dirty’s Response
Pay Dirty first responded by reminding them that they have nothing to be embarrassed about. Taking on debt, and especially one as large as that for university education in the United States is scary. They reminded Overwhelmed, however, that their goal is not as impossible as it seems.
First, they assisted with the part about choosing a school:
“First, make a list of at least everything you are looking for in a degree and school. You know already that you want to be a clinical social worker, so a program with a higher-than-average job placement rate may be more important than a school with great internships. After you make your list of criteria, find at least 10 programs that would potentially be a great fit, then start looking at financing options for those programs.”
Second, they helped provide options for tackling the financial side of things.
“Student loans don’t have to be the only answer to funding a graduate degree. Filling your Free Application for Federal Student Aid will enable you to apply for student loans but will also allow you to see about potential grant opportunities, scholarships that are income-based, and work-study programs. Along with grants and work study programs, many graduate schools offer a fellowship program or an employee discount if you decide to continue your career there while attending class. ProFellow has an extensive database of social work fellowships across the U.S.”
They then gave them information about what loans they would qualify for as well as which loan forgiveness plans they would qualify for. These people were smart about asking for financial advice, even if it was simply writing into a column. If you are struggling with a financial problem or are unsure of how to handle a situation like this, get help. The sooner you get help, the earlier you can solve the problem and probably save yourself some money and headache in the process.
Pay Dirt is Slate’s money advice column. You can even submit your own questions to them by following the link on their page.
Keep Reading: College Isn’t For Every Young Adult–And It’s Time Parents Accept It
Sources:
- “My Son’s Generous College Fund Vanished” Slate. October 12, 2021.