While it’s not as common these days, big families are still great! Having lots of siblings and cousins to run around and play with is something many of us never had the chance to experience. However, because of the way families tend to be these days, with very few or no children at all, when a mother chooses to have a big family, she is sometimes shamed by the online masses. People don’t seem to understand or agree with people wanting a larger family unit. But, shaming someone for that is never okay. In fact, it’s absolutely ridiculous and rude! There is no one set way to living and there are no rules to how small or big a family should be.
This mom is about to have her fourth child
Australian mom Anna Strode shares her health and fitness on her Instagram page. She’s quite the inspiration. However in 2019, at only 35 years old, she’s received a lot of backlash and abuse from other people online who don’t understand why anyone would want to have big families. Anna was just 33 years old when she was pregnant with baby number four. Her other three children were just three years old and 18 months of age at the time.[1]
“I had absolutely no idea that ‘pregnancy shaming’ existed until, I announced we had baby #4 on the way.”
The Melbourne mum had no idea what an absolute storm her Instagram post was about to create. Posting to her then 124,000 followers on Instagram, she shared the exciting news about her fourth pregnancy. And that’s where it all went downhill. She was blasted and told that she should just stop having kids; someone even asked her if she’d heard of contraception as if her baby was a ‘mistake.’ Naturally, Anna felt ashamed and shocked. She stopped posting online all the time and completely withdrew.
There’s nothing wrong with big families!
Anna had already been experiencing some problems with this pregnancy, and the online shaming had not helped. Eventually, she went back online to post something.[2]
“You may have noticed I’ve been a little quiet on Instagram the last 7 or so months. Why?! Because over the past 7 months I have been criticized, judged and blatantly questioned why we have chosen to have another baby. I’ve had comments and inbox messages saying all sorts of things from “wow, surely you’re not pregnant AGAIN ” to “STOP HAVING BABIES” to people asking if I don’t believe in contraception and making rude comments about our children being so close in age and that I won’t enjoy them.”
Read: Daycare Writes a Note on Baby’s Stomach to Shame His Mom Into Packing More Diapers
In a previous post, she let everyone who didn’t like big families know exactly how she felt.
“I really just hit rock bottom with it all. I was exhausted, had absolutely nothing to give and was struggling to keep up with raising 3 babes and growing a babe, let alone keeping up a presence on Instagram too. This pregnancy has without a doubt been MUCH harder than I anticipated. Both physically and emotionally. We actually tried for a few months before successfully falling pregnant.
And YES, I thoroughly enjoy my children even though they are close in age. I LOVE it in fact! I always wanted 4 children. For as long as I can remember, 4 just seemed like the number for me. And I also all imagined them being close in age. I was blessed that my husband wanted the same. I never imagined that doing what my hubby and I wanted to do, would upset so many people or affect them in any way. Anyone would think I asked the “pregnancy shamers” to wake all night and feed my baby, change dirty nappies, entertain my toddlers.”[2]
Yes, having five kids, all under the age of four, does sound crazy! But that gives absolutely nobody the right to judge you for choosing that. For Anna, she was more than capable and ready to have her babies the way she did. She chose to have a large family in a short space of time, and anyone who loves being in big families would agree with her. Remember, choose your words online kindly and stop giving your opinion on others’ lives when you will do nothing but cause grief and sadness. It’s not okay to be a bully, and shaming other moms for taking a different path is never alright.
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Sources:
- “Mum bullied by cruel trolls for having three kids under three and fourth on way.” Mirror. Dave Burke. February 15, 2019.
- “Mum slammed for having four kids under the age of five.” Queensland Times. Rebecca Flood. February 18, 2019.