middle aged woman with child on back

49-Year-Old Mom Adopts a Child, Gets Called ‘Selfish’ and Told She’s Too Old for It

Motherhood is a dream that many women wish for themselves. Raising children and devoting time to changing diapers does not seem daunting for them, but rather exciting. Many women do not fall pregnant as easily as other women, and they end up trying for many years to conceive. But what if your chance of becoming a mother is at the age of 49? For this woman, she was met with negative comments, instead of the admiration she expected when she shared her baby with her social media followers. 

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A Yearning for Motherhood

Kris Monsour lives in Winchester, Ohio, and she has been struggling to have a child of her own for quite a while now. She spent about a decade trying to conceive a child until she eventually looked into a round of IVF. Kris’s first marriage came to a sudden and unpredictable end, so the IVF treatment was put on hold. Her ex-husband clearly did not share the same desire to start a family. 

When Kris met her second husband, she was happy that he actually wanted a family. The two did not have to try for very long before she finally fell pregnant. She was elated to know that she was expecting but did not expect what happened next. 

Read: You’re Allowed to Have a Baby After 35

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Three months into her pregnancy, she was about to move into the second trimester, but unfortunately, Kris had a miscarriage. This was traumatic for Kris, but she was determined to keep trying. After the whole ordeal of the miscarriage, her doctor seemed to have minimal faith in her ability to carry a child.

“A doctor ended up basically telling me that I should just stop trying and that I was never going to be a mother. It was a huge gut punch, but I was determined to focus on my job,” Kris said.

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Some Good News Arrived

For ten long years, she had struggled to conceive, but this was not going to debilitate her determination. Her determination kept her going, even though she went through multiple miscarriages. In the back of her mind, she started dabbling with the acceptance of never becoming a mother. 

Kris got a call one day from her cousin who had been struggling with addiction. She had found out that she was pregnant, but she wanted Kris to adopt the baby because she did not have the means to care for a child. Kris and her husband were over the moon at the idea, and they agreed almost instantly to take the baby in and love it as if it were their own. 

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“We were there every step of the way during the pregnancy and the birth. We were there for the ultrasound, and at the hospital when she [the baby] was born, I even got to cut the cord.” The adoption process was not the easiest thing to complete. When her cousin’s baby was born, they named her Ainsley. 

Read: ‘I’m a 51-year-old gran & just had my seventh baby, trolls say I’m irresponsible’

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Feedback From Social Media

Kris has started a Tiktok account called “The Vintage Parents” and it is there that she shares the struggles she endured while trying to conceive, and the difficulties of the adoption process. Since then her account has boomed with many new followers, eager to learn from her efforts as a slightly older mum. She is now 51 with a two-year-old toddler, and couldn’t be happier. 

In one of her posts, she captioned: “Being told at 41, after my latest miscarriage, that I would never be a mom and to ‘accept my fate.'” The follow-up video she posted showed her cuddling her toddler daughter. This was captioned: “me at 51 with my two-year-old.”

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@thevintageparents However motherhood comes to you, it's a miracle. #thevintageparents #adoptionstory #miscarriage #thevintagemom #whatalie #miscarriages ♬ What a time by Niall Horan and Julia Michaels – ana.tpwk

Unfortunately, not all of her followers support the idea of her having a child at her age, she received a lot of negative comments.

One commenter wrote: “She’s just trying to fill a void because she couldn’t have her own children.”

Another wrote: You are going to die before she graduates. Selfish!”

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Thankfully, the vast majority of her followers are happy for her. They have shared their own positive feedback in the comments.

One commenter wrote: “You gave a child a chance at the life they deserve. Where there’s a will, there’s a way!”

Another positive comment noted the love they can see in Kris’s daughter’s eyes. They wrote: “I am proud that you are a great mother. And the love in your daughter’s eyes is priceless.”

Keep Reading: Mom living in tent with baby, toddler and husband: ‘Don’t know what we’re going to do’

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Sources:
1. “Mother who adopted a baby at age 49 after suffering multiple miscarriages faces horrific online abuse from trolls who call her ‘selfish’ – and insist she will ‘DIE’ before her child grows up.Daily Mail. Lillian Gissen. April 26, 2022.
2. “Mum who suffered miscarriages trolled and branded ‘selfish’ for adopting baby at 49.” Mirror UK. Abigail O’Leary. April 27, 2022.

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Jade Small
Freelance Writer
Jade is a freelance writer and content creator from South Africa with over 7 years experience writing and creating. She's also a proud single mom to a super 13 year old boy.
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