Having a family of your own can be an amazing affair. And it goes without saying, getting engaged is even more incredible. With two consenting adults deciding to chart the next course of their journey together, it calls for much celebration. However, one cannot deny that a marriage between two people also means a connection between two families.
Usually, it is a pleasant affair and just an acceptance of another member into their fold. But things can get murky at times. Incidentally, this was the unfortunate case for a woman, aka u/Footingbills321, who had just gotten engaged to her fiance. Although the fiance’s family could be a bit conservative, they are a bunch of nice and loving people. Everything was going well for the newly engaged couple. That is until Sam decided to invite OP to a New Year’s Eve dinner with his family.
But the father of the groom asked OP to cover the bill as she was a doctor- and should have enough money to pay it. As it turns out, OP refused to pay for everyone else and left after paying her share. Needless to say, this created a ruckus and provided r/AITA on Reddit with yet another post on familial disputes.
Family Celebration Turns Sour
Interestingly, OP stated that the evening started great with everyone sampling the delicacies. However, when it was time to pay, OP mentioned that she would be split the bill with Sam and his family. To her dismay, Sam’s parents had conveniently left their wallets at home. What was worse- her fiance didn’t have enough money on him to foot the bill either!
OP began her post on Reddit clarifying that she and her fiance didn’t live together. They were waiting for the proper timing:
“We do not live together because we’re waiting til marriage given he and his family are highly conservative Christians but they’re really nice and loveable people. “
-Reddit
Now, even though OP and her fiance had plans of celebrating NYE together, Sam decided to spend it with his family and invited his fiance. Till now, no harm, no foul. OP mentioned:
“His parents were there. They welcomed me and ordered many dishes and desserts and drinks. We celebrated and had a great time that is until it was time to pay.”
-Reddit
Read: Mom Furious After Being Asked To Take Her ‘Shrieking’ Son Out Of Restaurant
Now, OP thought they were going to be splitting the bill. That’s when her fiance’s family stated that they were not carrying any money. Her fiance too, apparently, forgot to bring his wallet that day. At this, OP’s would-be father-in-law could only say:
“His dad then laughed nervously, ‘alright so guess we should let the doctor pay!!“
-Reddit
Rules and Dictum- How To Behave Around Your Soon-to-be Daughter In Law
OP was at a loss for words for a short while. But she regained her composure and explained her situation:
’I was taken aback. I said I’m sorry but no this is just so much money to spend on dinner by myself and I didn’t think I was expected to pay the entire bill.”
-Reddit
While her fiance did mention that he would be paying her back, OP knew it would entail him getting a job if he were to cover the amount. Moreover, there was a history of this happening:
“I said I’m sorry but this isn’t the first time I’ve been put in this situation by him and family where I’m expected to rescue them after they somehow forgot their wallets and expect others to pay hundred for their extravagant dinner.”
-Reddit
OP was quite steadfast in her declaration. While she could foot the bill, she didn’t think it was her obligation to cover it.:
“Sam begged that I just do it and call it a night but I refused. The argument got heated then I got up and walked out.”
-Reddit
Her fiance called her up a few hours after the incident, and blamed her for ruining New Years’ Eve:
“Sam called later at 2am basically yelling that I ruined NYE celebration and made his parents suffer because I refused to pay the entire bill amd instead acted selfishly and paid only for myself after they were gracious enough to invite me.“
-Reddit
As a reply, she explained the unfairness of her situation:
“I told him how unfair it was for me to pay even if I have a good salary doesn’t mean I want to spend it all on fancy dinner.”
-Reddit
Sam did not reply. Instead, he only said that he hoped his parents would forgive OP for damaging the relationship with her in-laws.
OP’s post was because she started having guilt about not footing the entire bill for the family.
Read: Pregnant woman branded ‘lazy’ for refusing to give up bus seat for older lady
A Lesson In Civility- Why OP Did A Good Job Not Paying For Fiance’s Family
Instead of letting her wallow in her misplaced guilt, Redditors on the sub jumped to her defense. One user stated:
“NTA. Sounds like you were invited just to pay the bill. Red flag.”
–NinjaBabaMama
Yet another user commented:
“This was a setup and good for you for refusing to go along with it. I would rethink this marriage since your fiance and his parents want you to be the family cash cow. If this has happened before, they should have been extra careful not to forget their wallets again. And calling you ‘the doctor’ was very telling.”
–Artistic_Bookkeeper
The entire emotion was summed up precisely by a user, u/OkBullfrog7875, who stated:
“NTA. They all conveniently left their wallets and home, it doesn’t seem likely they forgot them at all, and they invited you with the expectation that you’ll pay.
You should rethink marrying this guy, he expected you to pay for an expensive meal, without your knowledge and you’ve been put in this situation before by him, it seems he’s using you for money and that’s extended to his family. They ruined their own NYE, by trying to force someone else to pay for a meal they cannot afford.”
We have to agree, the entire situation was too sketchy to look the other way. The fiance’s family left their wallets at home even when they knew they were going to an upscale restaurant. The fiance kept pestering her to pay for the bill. And later, tried to gaslight and guilt-trip her into wondering if she had spoilt her relationship with her in-laws. In the end, it would be wise for OP to rethink the entire relationship. She should come to a conclusion that wouldn’t make her rue her life later.
Keep Reading: Husband Asks Wife To Cook Dinner 30 Minutes After She Finds Out Her Mother Passed Away
Sources
- “AITA for only paying for myself when my fiance and future inlaws invited me to a NYE dinner at a scale restaurant?.” Reddit
Attention: While many of these stories are interesting, and we would love to take their word for it, the content in this article was taken from an unverifiable source (i.e., a Reddit forum). As such, we cannot guarantee that these events truly happened in the way that they are described in the original source.