Rock stars have been notorious for living difficult lives, full of distraction. Eddie Van Halen had just the life most expect. He had a habit of getting intoxicated in more ways than one. But, despite that, he found love that resulted in a marriage that lasted longer than a lot of other actors and musicians. When he was diagnosed with cancer, he told his ex-wife and child that he loved them. Regardless of whether or not their marriage had failed.
Van Halen and Bertinelli Found Love at First Sight
Many women have dreamed of having a love affair with a Rockstar. But, few actualize this. Valeri Bertinelli was one woman who landed a Rockstar husband. She was famous for her role in One Day at a Time, an American TV show where she very quickly became that “girl next door,” and a favorite amongst fans. She was only 20 years old at the time.
Valerie met Van Halen in 1980. Her brother had invited her to a concert of his, and she was swooning over the idea of him. When asked if she would attend, she said: ‘Oh, yeah, I’ll be going. He’s a cutie.'”
Valerie described it as “love at first sight,” and a few days after the concert, Van Hale called her up and asked her out. “So I went out and visited, and we never separated from then on,” Valerie recalled.
Van Halen was a gentleman, not a Bad Boy
Most people would assume he was a bad boy, what with his hardcore rocker lifestyle. But Valerie admitted that it was her who was the bad influence. He was a gentleman, and so much so that he insisted they sleep in separate rooms when they first got together. “He was the good one, I was the bad one,” she said.
The two had a powerful connection in bed. So, when she was invited to be on Oprah she was asked to recount, which made her shy. Oprah read from her book: “You said you made love like there was a hunger that you never filled before.”
A Few Months Later, They Got Hitched!
It only took a few months before they decided to tie the knot. Van Halen might have been a gentleman, but according to insiders, Van Halen had developed a habit of excessive drinking. He managed to remain sober for the wedding ceremony, but his manager had found them in the bathroom before their reception, and he was intoxicated while Valerie cried her eyes out. The night ended very ungallantly, but apparently, it was a typical night’s end. Valerie said: “I passed out on the bed in my gown, and Ed fell asleep in the bathroom.”
Van Halen’s wife tried to maintain a similar lifestyle as her husband so they would spend some time together. This meant partying non-stop on the weeks she was not acting for One Day at a Time, which ultimately “destroyed” her body. According to Valerie, their marriage looked like the perfect marriage to outsiders, but when you looked through the cracks, there was little to no connection. In 19921, they welcomed their son, Wolfgang.
Van Halen and Valeri Split
Both Valerie and Van Halen were unfaithful to each other, having had affairs of their own. They split in October 2001, but they only got divorced in 2007. According to Valerie, they wanted to lead with a better example of how lovers should treat each other.
“One of the many reasons that Ed and I split up is to give Wolfie a better vision of what two people who are supposedly in love treat each other like. Ed and I weren’t treating each other like two people that loved each other, and that’s what Wolfie was seeing.” admitted Valerie. “So I’m hoping that when he does get married and start a life for himself, that he takes his time and marries a friend and not just someone that he can’t keep his hands off.”
After Splitting with Van Halen
After her marriage ended, like many other people, she lived a life similar to a hermit. She never left home and she ate all the comfort food she could muster – jalapeño poppers being one of her favorites. She had a negative body image since she was in elementary school, and while she was acting in One Day at a Time she could not help but compare herself to her on-screen sister, Mackenzie Phillips. After her marriage ended and she gained some weight she decided to make some changes.
For some time, she was taking “Black Beauty” diet pills, but they gave her the shakes. Not the mention “huge honking zits.” She went from there, to becoming an advocate for the Jenny Craig diet.
“I’ve lost my shame.” Valerie says. “I’ve lost 40 pounds. But I don’t know that it was the 40 pounds that kept me shameful. I was ashamed of myself, and that’s why I gained 40 pounds.”
He Loved Valerie, Despite it all
Both Valerie and Van Halen re-married, to Tom Vitale and Janie Liszewski, respectively. Van Halen battled cancer twice. The first time was with tongue cancer in the early 2000s, which he successfully fought. Around 15 years later he was diagnosed with throat cancer, which after years of treatment unfortunately lead to his death in 2020. Valerie said she felt bad for Van Halen, because they still shared a close bond, despite all of their histories. Janie moved out of their home, and Van Halen lived the last year of his life alone until he was hospitalized.
The last words that Van Halen said to both his son, Wolfgang, and his ex-wife were: “I love you”
Valerie wrote a memoir of her life later on, and there she wrote about Van Halen being her soulmate, but she thinks we get more than one. She wrote:
“I think it is OK to speak in regrets. Regrets, like mistakes, are how we learn. I have plenty of regrets. And, I wish I could have spent more time with Ed. I think you have more than one soulmate. I think souls come here to learn and grow with each other, so I think there is a familiarity with certain people that was like, ‘I get this person and I think that is part of what a soulmate is. But, I think with Ed, it was something much deeper and I think our love turned into something more about soul love.”
- “Valerie Bertinelli on Deeper Love With Eddie Van Halen and If They Would Have Gotten Back Together (Exclusive).” ETonline. Liz Calvario. January 18, 2022
- “Valerie Bertinelli Comes Clean.” Oprah. February 25, 2008
- “Valerie Bertinelli & Ex Eddie Van Halen Came To ‘A Beautiful Place By The End Of His Life’” ETCanada. Melissa Romualda. January 18, 2022