A wedding is a dream for many people– and having them start on a solid foundation is a must. But, oddly, there are times where people don’t have that. If there is a lack of commitment and love right from the get-go, then one can only imagine what will happen a few years down the road.
But it’s usually not the case. When the marriage bells ring, the parties are usually in love and committed to each other. Whatever might happen in the future, at least at that point in time, they can hope for positive outcomes.
However, recently, a bride wrote to Slate’s Dear Prudence column because her wedding went very poorly.[1] She was so hurt by it that she was seriously considering divorcing her new husband.
A Wedding Prank Gone Too Far
The bride, who refers to herself as “Give Him Till February?” said that the wedding took place a bit before Christmas. However, she was already hoping to get it annulled before January. She repeats that it was not in her plans originally.
She personally never cared about marriage. However, her boyfriend proposed to her in 2020. They worked together to organize the reception, however, she had one condition:
“We each took on about half the responsibility for organizing the wedding, but I think I was pretty reasonable about compromise when he really wanted something. My only hard-and-fast rule was that he would not rub cake in my face at the reception.”
The boyfriend agreed but it ends up he may not have been a man of his word…
“Being a reasonable man who knows me well, he didn’t. Instead, he grabbed me by the back of the head and shoved my head down into it. It was planned since the cake was DESTROYED, and he had a bunch of cupcakes as backup.”
She had immediately left the venue. The following day, she told him that their relationship was over. She intends to stand by it. However, during the holidays, everyone she knew insisted that she is making a mistake:
“That I am overreacting because of my issues (I am VERY claustrophobic after a car accident years ago, and I absolutely panicked at being shoved into a cake and held there). That I love him (even though right now I don’t feel that at all), he loves me, and that means not giving up at the first hurdle”
Everyone’s utter confidence is making her doubt her decision, even though it was clearly quite traumatic for her.
Read: Woman Confused About Widower Still Wearing A Wedding Ring, Brings It Up During Lunch Break And Things Get Out Of Hand
Prudence’s Reply
Jenée Desmond-Harris, the current Dear Prudence at Slate, had only one thing to say: that the bride’s instinct should be the one that matters. It does not matter if this means that it has to be so soon after the wedding.
She gives a very clear view about the significance of others’ opinions:
“Everyone’s sure you’re making a mistake, but they’re not the ones who have to wake up every day with a man whose behavior massively turns them off. You are. So you only have to listen to yourself.”
Then, she gives her own perspective about the bridegroom’s actions. For Prudence, it was an obvious red flag because he did not respect the bride or her wishes. Moreover, there was physical aggression involved. Even without that part, simply not liking it is enough of a reason for the bride to call everything off.
Finally, she gave some advice for the future about all the people who are telling her that it is a mistake:
“Make a mental note about which of your loved ones don’t seem to value your happiness, and continue with your divorce.”
We must say, we completely agree with Prudence on how one’s instincts should be the topmost priority. At the end of the day, nobody else will live our lives. We alone will have to face the consequences of our actions.
So what do you think of this case? Do let us know in the comments!
Keep Reading: During Wedding, Pastor Tells Bride To Step Aside
Sources
- “Help! I’m Divorcing My Husband Over an Insane Stunt He Pulled at Our Wedding..” Slate. Jenée Desmond-Harris. January 13, 2022.