Being a surrogate can often be a matter of pride- but there are circumstances. What if it is your own father asking you for surrogacy? While we may think that we would be doing everything for our family- there is a line that needs to be drawn. On Reddit’s much-vaunted platform r/AITA, a woman complained about this exact thing. The 26-year-old stated that her 56-year-old father, who had recently married a 40-year-old woman, wasn’t able to have a baby.
“They are attempting IVF but aren’t having luck. They told me this in confidence & asked if I could keep the fact they are trying for a baby to myself; which I have done no problem. (Recently) he asked if things didn’t work out with IVF would I be willing to be a possible surrogate?”
-Reddit
To be frank, the woman was quite disgusted with the idea. And we ask- who wouldn’t?
Surrogacy- Can You Ask Your Daughter To Carry Your Child?
While some of you may be thinking that OP’s reaction was a bit too harsh, we need to explore their relationship:
“My father and I don’t have the best relationship. Parents are divorced and he was an alcoholic until I went to college. We went 3 yrs NC bc of an argument. Only started speaking 3 yrs ago. All of this makes the fact that he asked so shocking.”
-Reddit
After politely refusing her father, OP herself felt quite surreal.
“I was so shocked that I thought I’d entered the twilight zone & started to feel nauseous. Was going to keep this to myself but don’t think I can. I want to tell my mom. We have a very close relationship & constantly tell each other everything. Even if this is the end of that conversation, that my dad felt comfortable asking is weirding me out.”
-Reddit
OP ended her post about her father asking her to be a surrogate by mentioning that she would have to talk to her mom about it.
“I know part of why he asked is bc he was hoping to save the money a surrogacy agency costs. It’s grossing me out that he had to have thought of me being pregnant. It’s gross & I’d like to talk to my mom about this.”
-Reddit
Such a weird interaction definitely sparked the flames of Reddit. One Redditor, who goes by the username Kare6Bear6 stated:
“I’m usually in the camp of don’t spill secrets, but this is a huge ask and if you need to confide in your mom, confide in her. It’s something that majorly affects you. If it eases your mind, you wouldn’t even qualify to be a surrogate. No legit fertility place will allow you to be impregnated, so his attempt to get around other fees would fail. Even the places with the looses restrictions wouldn’t accept a surrogate that has never carried at least one pregnance to term. It’s the most major of requirements.”
Read: Man Seeks Advice After His Dying Wife Asks Permission To Spend A Night With Ex One Last Time
A Rare “Sweet Home Alabama” Moment As Daughter Gets Asked To Be A Surrogate
While this user was more concerned about the legality of OP being a surrogate, others had differing views. u/TooTiredForItAll commented:
“NTA and I would not do this. Is your dad crazy. He will be 70 before his kid goes to college. Disaster.”
Although the sentiment behind this was positive, the wording wasn’t. u/chicka2981 rebutted this by stating:
“I disagree with this for the reason that I was raised by my grandparents and they did a WONDERFUL job and still continue to do a wonderful job even though I am 24 now. My grandma (married into the family) didn’t even want kids before I was born, my pop was almost 60. Best parents a girl I could ever ask for. Not EVERYONE who has kids that late in life would do a good job, it just isn’t always a disaster.”
As we can see, it is pretty assured that OP wouldn’t be going with her father’s plans. At the end of the day, she wouldn’t even be allowed to be a surrogate.
u/Wonderful_Ad968 raised quite a valid point- would OP’s father ask the other women in his life too?
“NTA. This affects you, and you should feel free to discuss it with someone else close to you for emotional support. Sorry but they want to use another woman’s egg, another man’s sperm, and then a third person to carry the child? Wtf. This child by design would not be related any of you, so why don’t they adopt? Also, does your father have any other female relatives aged 20-40? Because he might approach them too.”
Being a surrogate can often be beautiful. And it is usually a blessing to those who can’t have kids on their own. But there are limits. One simply can’t ask their daughter to have their child. At the end of the day, she would still be the one to carry the child- for her own father!
Keep Reading: Unbelievable: 61-Year-Old Lady Seeking Advice on ‘Vintage Bottle Stopper’ Mortified To Find Out What It Really Was
Sources
- “AITA if I tell my mom that my dad asked if I could be a surrogate for him and his new wife?” Reddit
- “‘My dad wants me to be a surrogate for him and his new wife – I feel nauseous’.” Mirror. Paige Holland. April 1, 2022.
Attention: While many of these stories are interesting, and we would love to take their word for it, the content in this article was taken from an unverifiable source (i.e., a Reddit forum). As such, we cannot guarantee that these events truly happened in the way that they are described in the original source.