Muhammed Nitito has gone viral for sparking a discussion when he stated he takes his daughters into the women’s bathroom. The first time he did this, he was on edge.
“I’m a 6-foot-2 Black man,” Nitoto said. “I had no idea what the reaction would be.”
However, the men’s bathroom wasn’t a good option either. The dad of five-year-old Zendaya and three-year-old Zuri had to take them into public bathrooms when Zuri was still in diapers. And the changing station in the men’s room was wedged between the sinks and the urinals. All out in the open. Plus, many of these restrooms are dirty and not designed with babies and children in mind.
Of course, Nitoto always opts for a family or gender-neutral bathroom but they are not as common as they should be. So he takes his girls into the women’s bathroom. His post explains how he goes about this and he ends by asking women how they feel about this situation.
“Chronicle Of Daddy” Tells Why He Brings His Girls into the Women’s Bathroom
On his viral Instagram post titled, “I Take My Daughters to the Girls Bathroom”, Muhammed Nitito writes:
“As a dad being out with daughters I never thought the bathroom would become as big of an issue as it is. Usually, we would go places and they have FAMILY bathrooms which are meant for people with children but what I found was most places don’t have them and Dads are left to decide between taking their daughters to the men’s bathroom or the women’s.
“Now when first hit with this choice I did what most men would do which is, I went to the Men’s bathroom. Now I’ve been to a men’s bathroom millions of times but walking in with your daughter makes you look at it completely different. Men’s bathrooms are DISGUSTING. They smell like pee and nothing is set up for a woman or a person with a child. The changing table was right next to the urinal which means my child literally would be next to where men pee while she’s being charged. Not to mention that there are men going in and out while you’re there. After doing that 1 time I decided I’d never take my daughter’s to the men’s bathroom again.”
In comparison, women’s bathrooms are often cleaner and contain private changing stations.
“As a girl dad I can’t help but want to protect my daughters from all things that aren’t for them and the men’s bathroom is 100% one of those things,” Nitito concluded his post.
Read: Man Shames Guy For Carrying Sick Daughter, Dad’s Reply Leaves Him Sobbing
“I try to be as respectful as possible”
Since these girls are too young to go to the bathroom alone, he tries to stay respectful while entering. He always begins with knocking and alerting the women in the bathroom of his presence.
“I say, ‘Excuse me, ‘I’m a dad, and I have my daughters with me. Do you mind if I bring them in?’” Nitoto explained in an interview with TODAY.” [2] If I hear the door open when we’re in a stall, I re-announce myself. I don’t want to surprise anyone, I know some women have experienced trauma and might be afraid. I try to be as respectful as possible.”
Fortunately, Nitoto hasn’t encountered anyone upset by his presence. In one instance, a woman asked him to wait outside until she was done. Then she offered to guard the bathroom entrance while he took his daughters inside. Additionally, he received a lot of praise for his thoughtful approach.
“I’m a father to a little lady and men’s toilets are no place for a little girl! Urinals are not the most private affair! This post has given me the courage to take her to the ladies respectfully if the disabled loo is unavailable. Thanks again, you may have just changed daddy-daughter days out,” said one comment on his post.
Another person wrote, “I think this is a valid response to doing what is best for your baby and would absolutely have no issue with it whatsoever. As parents, we’re all in this together.”
The Other Side of the Debate
However, not everyone agrees with this approach. For instance, parenting expert Dr. Justin Coulson states,
“The first thing is I don’t think it’s ever appropriate for an adult male to be taking his daughter to the female toilets so that she’s comfortable. That would certainly make a lot of females very uncomfortable, and that wouldn’t be appropriate. Similarly, it doesn’t seem appropriate that a woman would take her son into the male toilets.“
Coulson has six daughters and he tends to ask a woman for help if there are no family bathrooms.
“I just wait outside while my daughter goes in. If she’s too young to go in on her own and there isn’t a parents’ room available, I’ll approach a random stranger and say to her, ‘I’m wondering if you might help me. I have a daughter who needs to use the bathroom. Perhaps you could just escort her in and out’. That’s always worked really well, no one’s had a problem with that.” [3]
The “Chronicle Of Daddy” Story
This bathroom debate is only one of many that arise while parenting. Details like this are not always discussed, and it’s difficult to find a perfect answer. In fact, this was the inspiration behind Nitoto’s Instagram page.
“Being a girl dad, I find myself having to navigate things that I don’t have a book I can read from to help me with solutions,” he said. “It’s almost like the parenting story isn’t shared in-depth from a father’s side. That’s why I started my Daddy Chronicles. I wanted to tell the dad’s side of stories — some that have been heard from the mom’s side and some that haven’t even been talked about before.” [4]
Keep Reading: Dad’s Emotional Post about Raising His Baby Daughter Alone after Her Mom Left Them
Sources
- “I TAKE MY DAUGHTER TO THE GIRLS BATHROOM!” Instagram. Chronicles of Daddy. July 21, 2021
- “Dad shares experience taking his daughters to women’s bathrooms” TODAY. Rachel Paula Abrahamson. December 13, 2021
- “Should dads take their young daughters to the men’s or women’s toilet?” ABC. Patrick Williams. July 28, 2018
- “Dad reveals his five tips for fathers to help share the load with breastfeeding mums.” Yahoo News. Lauren Clark. September 15, 2019